My Search for Religion

Finding God for me has been one of the most daunting, and also one of the most rewarding tasks I have ever endured. I have encountered countless people who have followed a religion their entire life. That may work for some people who find joy in a simpler life without the mental exhaustion that accompanies many of the questions that would otherwise keep them up at night. I am afraid that I am not one of those people. This is not the entire story of my search for God, as that is ongoing. Rather, these are the meditations of what I have encountered in the last week that has brought me closer to realizing what God is, and how I can find him.

Before I begin, I would like to emphasize that I find it much harder to believe in organized religion, not because of their consistent corruptness or because of my weakness in self-control — although that does play a part - but because I believe that religion in itself should be a personal endeavor that need not be expressed publicly. Along with this, I believe that the true God could be compared more to a stoic philosopher, or even Jekyll and Hyde, before he could be compared to a being who only represents the Good in the world who just happens to have an evil brother.

My philosophy, however, covers neither of these concerns. I have come across this hypothesis based on the logic that moral philosophy in itself is not as black and white as the concept of collective responsibility. To be fair I have a hard time being ignorant of many of the things which people would call miracles or prophecies that have no justification under any term other than Divine Intervention. What I do believe though, is that there are truths in all religions, and that the symbolism present in each of them is more important than the accepted dogma that is present in their doctrines.

As Christianity has been the religion that I have pondered upon the most in the last week, I will express my current thoughts about the true meaning of the Story of Genesis, and my own interpretation of the trinity. As stated before, because I cannot deny the miracles and prophecies that are present in the Bible, I have formed these thoughts around the notion that the stories from the Bible are true, and it is my hope that none of my notes from the past few days are contradicting in any way to these scriptures.

The Garden of Eden

To begin, let’s use logic to analyze the scriptures:

First the Tree of Life and the Knowledge of Good and Evil

— The Tree of Life signifies the changing from one state to another.

— But what is the Knowledge of Good and Evil?

First, it can be observed in all forms of life that Destruction and Creation are necessary for each other’s existence.

Apart from the constant reconstruction present in all of nature, is it not the meaning that is applied to good and evil through humans that has created a universal acceptance of the categories that each individual concept will be placed?

As far as we can tell, humans are the only animals that has the ability to attach meaning to what would otherwise be something that can merely be observed.

Without the communication of humans with one-another, who other than God can decide what is just and fair?

My answer is this:

Anything that brings forth creation and progress is good, and anything that brings forth destruction and halts progress is bad (as well as any ignorance towards or attached meaning to anything at all). The boundaries of these parameters include Humanity, the Earth, and Consciousness as a collective. That is to say that even though War brings forth death and destruction, with it has also come some of the most influential artworks and scientific discoveries, among many other things.

Taking this into account, it is human nature to attach emotion to the beliefs of the individual. Therefore, many of the emotions that are experienced within us are tied to our beliefs, and the similarities from one person and another in most circumstances can conclude the the following:

Good brings forth the emotions or attributes of:

joy, grace, gratefulness, generosity, selflessness, wisdom, faith, etc.

Such emotions can only be felt when someone is in the spirit of Good, and because their mood is congruent with their perceptions at the time of experiencing said emotions, then it can be stated that someone is in a state of “goodness” upon experiencing such emotions. In my opinion, gratefulness is the most symbolic emotion of this state.

Likewise, the emotions of “evil” are:

greed, slothfulness, lust, envy, gluttony, pride, wrath, addiction, ignorance, and faithlessness, etc.

That is that when someone is experiencing these emotions, their perception of life is created through the notion that their current situation is not enough to be fulfilling. One attribute that all of these emotions contain (with respect to addiction), is selfishness.

Therefore good is selfless, and bad is selfish. Such a statement can only be made, however, with regards to the fact that self-preservation takes precedence over good, in more cases than not, but certainly only hovers over the line of the majority of circumstances.

With this in mind, there is always the idea of yin and yang. That is that with all good comes bad, and with all bad comes good. That is why the Fall of Adam was necessary, but that also brings to question how God himself can understand the intentions of man if he himself can only comprehend good things.

Given that there exists some good in all evil, and some evil in all good. What then is nature without man, that is.. nature without symbolism or meaning?

In my opinion, that is the state of Garden of Eden, and even the state of the natural forces of life. Nature is balanced in the same way that self-preservation is neutral, and that is because nature existed before man.

For example, natural disasters destroy forests, animals, etc.

But in order for these things to exist in the first place, they must be taken from the world, thus creating balance, because creation cannot exist without the destruction of life of another form. With this, it can be said that man has accepted the belief that he is superior to all other forms of life, simply because he has the power to create meaning where there would otherwise be none.

Another question that has risen is this:

Knowing that God can understand our struggles, how is he able to do so without first having experienced them?

If Satan himself is separate from God, does that mean that there are others among the two that contain the same powers as God himself, or did God’s ‘creator’ decide that only God and Satan himself were enough to fulfill the agenda of the power which is responsible for the creation of the two? Also, if God himself was created in the same way that as the chicken and the egg, then can it be said that Satan himself was once a part of God, and that God “cast him out” because he refused to acknowledge that part of his nature?

With this in mind, if God created man, and everything that comes of God is good, then why is it that not all of man is good? Could it be that God and Satan both contributed to the creation of man, or that God and Satan instead are created through the experiences of man and the ‘meanings’ associated with them?

In order for God to conceive and create the evil qualities of man, he must first comprehend them. In order to comprehend them, must he first experience them, and does he need to be somewhat evil in order to do so?

The answer is no.

The reason for this can be found in the scripture telling that man was created in the “image of God.”

So what does that mean?

My interpretation is that we are able to understand, comprehend, and attach meaning to things that would otherwise be neutral. In doing so we can create and destroy things in the process. Whether it can be stated that we are attached or connected to God in this way is not for me to determine.

But I can question how it is that God can be completely good, yet still be responsible for anger, wrath, destruction, etc. This is because within all evil things there exists, some good, and within all good things there exist some evil (I apologize, redundancy is the only way I can get the point across). But does this mean that God himself is not completely good, and that there exists some evil within the Catholic version of this God? Well… no.

Let’s start with the Trinity. Why is the Trinity necessary to create a creative God that cannot contain even the slightest bit of evil?

Because of the body, the mind, and the spirit.

This is what God meant when he made us in his image. That is, we are able to use these three things to create associations between those things which are good, and those things which are evil. That is because God himself only understands complete Good, and Satan only understands complete evil. It is not for each of them to understand what lies in-between.

Is it to be said then that when God was created, Satan suddenly just showed up? No, for the two coexisted as one, but have always repelled each other just based upon the nature of what they signify. Therefore, God cast Satan from himself so that God can be responsible for creation, and Satan responsible for destruction, however neither of the two has free will.

So what then does the body, mind, and spirit signify?

In my opinion, they are actually archetypes. The body symbolizes that which is seen/real. The mind(soul) symbolizes that which is unseen/imaginary. The Spirit symbolizes the communication between the two i.e. the higher self, the conscience.

What exactly is the symbolism in sinful thoughts/actions?

Time

God is eternal, Satan is temporary. How?

Because the symbolism of creation relies on the existence of things, but destruction relies on its non-existence. That is, destruction relies on things which are seen, whereas creation relies on those things which are seen and unseen, and unseen things are eternal. That is to say that the memory or symbolic attachment of something can exist after the thing itself is no longer existent.

So once everything an be created, and all those things have been destroyed, then the battle of good and evil has come to a conclusion and balance has been achieved. Suddenly time stops and everything lives on as an idea, a concept, an emotion, or an experience, etc. Therefore, you reap what you sow. If you are left only with the ideas that you have formed within your lifetime, have they been surrounded by things which are eternal or temporary?

So then is imagination not evil? Is the natural man a good thing(eternal), or is man naturally evil(temporary)?

The question can be answered by observing the symbolism in man, and analyzing the nature of sin, and why Faith is so important if we are to receive God’s grace.

First, the body of man is inherently evil. From the moment of its conception, the nature of the body itself moves closer to destruction. Second, what do we experience when we sin?

Some form of temporary and selfish pleasure, that is how Satan tempts the body, but such temptations are not enough to convince a man to denounce God. Rather, Satan’s specialty lies within the mind. Satan can only tempt someone through destructive methods. Therefore, Satan tempts the mind to focus only on those things which can be seen, which are temporary, rather than causing him to focus on the eternal meanings that are associated with all things and the different ways in which they can be perceived.

Therefore, I believe that God exists among man when his thoughts are beyond his temporary self and instead exists among those things which make life more meaningful than it otherwise would have been in his absence.

It can be said that Satan himself removes the symbolism and idea of God and instead causes him to focus on those things which are temporary and selfish aspects of the body and mind.

Satan only needs 1 tool at his disposal.

Fear, but with these he is able to use the facets of time, uncertainty, body, mind, nature, and sin.

For instance, each of the deadly sins and how they are used.

Lust:

Often originates as a “perceived opportunity”, that is Satan uses the trial of time to show that man has not before been given the opportunity to have sexual relations with a particular woman. If the opportunity is passed up, he will lose it. He uses fear and uncertainty to fool the mind into wondering what she thinks of him, how he can prove himself worthy of her, and how he can find “certainty” in how he compares to others around him. He uses the body’s animal nature to push control of these desires. He further ties the mind, along with uncertainty and time to use the imagination of man to create a false and comfortable reality of what the experience will be like. He uses nature to tempt man to ignore God and focus on what he sees i.e. rationalization.

And for the final blow he need only use himself. He uses those emotions of destruction which are present to further degrade the Power of the Will. These are shame, guilt, jealousy, weakness, inferiority, loneliness, and exhaustion, among others.

Greed and Lust are similar in nature, and focus primarily on the insecurities of man seeking certainty.

Wrath:

The nature of wrath is selfish and relies on pride and lust. The tools that Satan uses most often in wrath however is fear and mind. The difference between the two is that the mind holds the beliefs that dictate someone’s actions as well as the power of imagination, whereas fear works to dwindle Faith and optimism. People often act out wrathfully because they work to prevent an underlying fear they might have from occurring. This is based on the notion that in their mind they expected, or they imagine, a different outcome in some circumstance that did not work out the way they had hoped or expected. Pride plays a role because the fear they aim to control is often an effort to protect their identity.

Pride:

I define pride to be similar in nature to ignorance, and in my opinion is the deadliest of all sins, for the power of each sin relies heavily on the person’s sense of pride. Pride is desire and idolatry of the self. Often, when someone is prideful, they believe themselves to have no need for God, and also seek to control circumstances which are outside the boundaries of Control. This is Satan’s most powerful tool because it is the most deceiving and sly, and also the most deadly. Satan first uses pride by catering to a person’s insecurities. Upon recognizing these insecurities, Satan will tempt redemption from these things through material possessions. This desire can last for years/ Rather than confronting the problem at the source, the person contributes his circumstance to his beliefs and his own achievements, claiming that it is because of his beliefs that he has reached his position, and often doesn’t take into account the other people that played a factor in helping them get to that spot. This will cause them to hold onto those beliefs, no matter how toxic they may become. He now has his identity associated with both his beliefs and his material possessions and will work to control them at all costs. From here, it only takes on fall for a prideful person to reach a point from which they will never recover, or the person will spend the rest of his life out of fear of losing these things which he believes will bring him happiness. Very little development can occur in a person who is prideful.

Gluttony:

Relies on a person’s lack of Will and self control and contributes to the agendas of other sins. Relies also on a person's insecurities and lack of firm beliefs. Leads to addiction. Works hand-in-hand with slothfulness.

Slothfulness:

As mentioned before, from the moment of birth a man’s body works towards a state of destruction. Without energy being put into strengthening the body, ind, and soul they are weakened and provides Satan power over the Will. Slothfulness is the primary gateway to all of the other sins as most people will neglect at least one aspect of the body, mind, or soul/ In my opinion, slothfulness is the biggest cause of depression and anxiety. Whereas pride relies too heavily on beliefs and identity, slothfulness relies on the lack of them. Don’t let this confuse you though because pride is often the result of slothfulness. That is because while someone who is full of pride might often be considered a hard worker, they choose to neglect either their body, mind, or soul in the process. Neglecting the body often leads to gluttony, addiction, lust, etc. Neglecting the mind leads to fear, close-mindedness, envy, and desire. Neglecting the soul leads to desire, discontent, pessimism, and selfishness. Slothfulness is the most effective tool not only because it is a passive sin, but also because it relies on the way that society is constructed. That is that people often spend more time working for a paycheck than they do working for their own personal development. This often leads to neglect in one or more aspects of the body, mind, or soul.

Envy:

The reason that envy is so powerful is that it relies on false beliefs and observations. That is, it contributes to the destruction of gratefulness and caters mostly towards ignorance. When someone is envious of another, it is often because they do not see the entire perspective of that person’s life and instead focuses on the aspect of that person that contains what the envious person lacks. Often. if someone is envious of someone else, they choose to either steal what it is they seek from that person, or destroy it in that person so they cannot enjoy it. In my opinion this is one of the worst deadly sins because it is the most conscious of the & and often brings no benefit to the sinner whatsoever. Don’t mistake envy for jealousy, however, for jealousy can be a good thing if used in the right way (refer to Friedrich Nietzsche’s philosophy on jealousy).

Now that we know how the destructive forces of the adversary can play a role in human nature, how then does God appeal to man?

The most profound emotions are joy and gratitude. Because every man is born with the knowledge of Good and Evil, so then are they born with the desire to find meaning and purpose in life. God is able to grant this purpose to them through his grace, and all that he requires in return is Faith in him, and his Word. Whereas Satan likes to make his presence known, God can only be found where there is Good. Where then can we find God? God exists within nature and he is present in the minds of the Holy. God seeks to benefit all of mankind, and so he does not exist within anything temporary, but rather exists in meaning. While anything in nature can be seen as temporary, it is not so because all things which are broken down are also created through God. In the same way that man is made from dust, God exists within the dust that creates him as well as the symbolic nature of the lives of what lived, and what will live as a result of the breaking down of the previous life, whereas Satan represents the absence of such life.

Therefore, it is the symbolism and the memory of that life that contains God, because that is something which cannot be destroyed, because God is eternal.

So then, why does it appear that Satan interacts with man more than his own creator? Has God forsaken us?

Nay, for Satan is more predictable than God. God is seen everywhere by those who are equipped to recognize it. God exists within each of us, and it is because of him that we are able to find our own individual selves. God exists within the work that we do, he exists within the beauty of our creation, within the power and glory of our minds, within each and every opportunity. He exists within the beauty of our creation, within the power and the glory of our minds, within each and every opportunity. He exists as the fulfillment of dreams and creation. he is the calm before the storm, and the rainbow that follows. He is the comfort we feel as we gaze upon the stars, the mountains, and the beaches. He is the mystery we experience as we study cultures, science, and art. He is the gratitude we feel when we appreciate the selfless actions of another. God is the power we feel when we rise with the Sun and gaze upon the limitless opportunities and mysteries that have been given to us through his creation.

To recap:

God is eternal, and represents the symbolism and memory of all things, even the result of war and suffering — because the act of enduring suffering is attributed to Satan, but the new creations that result from them is the product of God. In other words, God works through Faith. Even if the faith is not asserted towards God himself, the belief that everything will work out will cause the body, mind, and soul to focus on things which are positive, which can come from even the most enduring circumstances.

Satan is temporary, and represents the absence of life and individuality. He seeks to rid the mind of eternal thoughts, and focus the mind and soul on those things which will not exist after the cycle of destruction. Satan relies on fear and works with uncertainty to create a hole from which the drifters cannot escape. When overcome with fear, negative outcomes will cloud the mind of man, and cause him to act in ways that are likely to create the outcome he wished to prevent.

My interpretation of the symbolism that exists within Genesis.

To begin, God is timeless, he exists in all places whether it be the past, present, or future. It makes no difference whether God and Christ are seen as two persons or one, for they both symbolize the same thing. That is, the Word of God and his teachings, and ultimately Goodness. There exists no thing or idea in this world that measures to the greatness that is symbolized through Christ. A question that comes to mind upon reading the scriptures, however, is why the three levels of the Godhead are separated if they all represent the same thing.

My answer to the dilemma is this:

The Father is the Creator, and is symbolic of such. No evil can exist within him, therefore there exists no conflict. The only level of understanding which he can comprehend is that of almighty good.

The son is the eternal sacrifice. He is necessary because of the Principle of Polarity. That is that everything in the Universe has an exact polar opposite, and since Christ was infinitely good, he is able to atone for all the sins of man because he can counteract any form of evil that can come of it. That is to say even the future sins of man, because the good that would have come from Christ’s symbolism had he not died would have balanced the evil that has come from his death. Christ’s presence on this Earth was necessary for God to interact with it in any way.

The Holy Spirit

While we are able to talk to God through Christ, we are able to talk to Christ through the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit, we cannot have access to the Kingdom of heaven. When then, is this divine presence? I believe that the Holy Spirit is the ALL. The Holy Spirit is completely neutral and does not exist on the spectrum as leaning more towards the side of good or evil. Contained within the Holy Spirit is REASON, and so it is through reason that we are able to get closer to God. After all, what action is justified if it ULTIMATELY leads toward destruction, and even if an action leads towards creation, is it not the nature of all things to slowly move towards a state of nonexistence? It is for this tendency of nature to constantly move towards destruction that the Holy Spirit can remain neutral whilst still prompt the soul to move towards the side of Good, but it is also for this reason that no thing can become good without having energy devoted to its creation. Although It is through the Holy Spirit that God speaks to and understands man, but also through him that he is able to understand the necessity of evil without being tarnished by it. Many believe that our souls are individual, and they are, because our minds live on. However, I believe that we all share the same Holy Spirit. Within the Holy Spirit is the knowledge of all things. In him exists the experiences and perceptions of plants and animals, as well as the experiences of every man and woman, as well as everything that has, will, ultimately can be thought. He is the source of all knowledge, and even Satan himself has access to him. It is through the spirit that God can understand and communicate with us.

That concludes the notes which I have made through my meditations of good and evil. I hope you were able to enjoy and understand it.